I wish I was sitting on the back row so I could sneak back to the snack table and grab 87 more chocolate chip cookies without anybody seeing.
I only thought I was bored before
Then the seminar on bankruptcy started.
In a 7 hour CLE today. Kill me now.
You should follow myinnerskinnybitch! She’s one of The Girl’s bffs IRL so I have to like her. But who knows, you might even like her voluntarily. ;)
Semen, penis, and what else…?– Katie-Mac
En route to my third Thanksgiving. Did The Girl’s Mom’s family and The Girl’s Dad’s Family. Today is my family.
I like my Thanksgiving ham like I like my women, a little meat on the bone with light brown skin
I was just cleaning up my desk and I found a note from my boss that said: “Please clean up and organize your desk.”
brklyn asked: You're from Austin and you live there now, so why did you go to Mizzou? Also, was going to law school always the plan?
ilikeyourwigjanice asked: Follow up question. What are your thoughts on eharmony? I've had friends do it and they all said it was guys who were looking to get married in the next 3 months (maybe that's just Raleigh. Or maybe that's what you're looking for!). Did you try any other dating sites? I've done Match and it was so overwhelming that I couldn't keep up with it. And there were tons...
ilikeyourwigjanice asked: How did you and the gf meet? Also, does she like Mean Girls?
anniebgood asked: How excited are you for the royal wedding??
ASK ME SOMETHING!!! The guy who shares my office just started a four-hour conference call so I’m going to be distracted all day anyway.
Leopard print is one of those things that constantly goes in and out of style....– Style Eternal LOL for days, Bridget. Fer daze. (via katie-mac) Can we all agree to just avoid animal print all together. You know, just to play it safe. It will always be the Denham Springs of Baton Rouge, the Chalmette of New Orleans, the Mesquite of Dallas….etc. (via nickihebert) I...
There are few things more terrifying than Microsoft Word asking you if you want to save a document before closing it and you don’t remember making any changes to it.
About to meet someone from craigslist to buy The Girl’s couch. If you don’t hear from me again, please avenge my kidnapping a la Denzel Washington in Man on Fire or Liam Neeson in Taken, your choice.
Spending the day in Waco (it’s pronounced wacko). Be jealous.
I’m no longer putting commas and periods inside of quotation marks. This is a stupid ass rule that doesn’t make any sense and was created simply to make life easier for typesetters back when we actually set type by hand. Even if that was a good reason at the time to do something so illogical as to put your own writing inside of quotation marks indicating that the writing belongs to...
The Stackhouse Filibuster
Mark: C.J., it's Friday night. I'm supposed to have dinner with my girlfriend. She's going to kill me.
C.J.: Yeah, but you know what, Mark? This is just the kind of thing that can cleanse the palate of a relationship that's gone stale. Like a fine sorbet.
Mark: We've been going out three weeks.
C.J.: And she's already bitching about dinner? Lose her!
We’re easily gonna win the “hottest table” award (there isn’t really such an award, but there should be) at trivia tonight with The Girl, Katie-Mac, and Jen McNasty on my team.
I just got a new client. Her name is Qu’vosha. Do you think it’s pronounced Qua-vosha or Ku-vosha? Scratch that, turns it out that it’s QyVosha. Not that that provides much help in pronouncing it. Key-vosha? Kwy-vosha?
So for some reason, my boss moved me to a completely different office over the weekend. I have no idea why he did this, but I’m pretty pumped. I now have a bookcase, two desks, and plenty of wall space for my diplomas and law licenses.
…thank you for thinking of me?– My sister, in response to my posting the Taco Bell story on her facebook wall
There was absolutely zero traffic this morning (not that I’m complaining). Are there actually a significant number of people whose offices are closed for Veterans Day?
Adults train kids to become sexually mature in a manner they approve of. We clap...– THIS. Everything about this. 500000% THIS. (via tvandtoast:Project Rungay) Why does this not make sense to people??? (via wazzugal)
Having seemingly contradictory qualities: Oh the... →
karadox: There’s ALWAYS cons to every city … However, I only found two in regards to DC. It’s not a proper recap without all angles addressed, right? 1. Bums. They are everywhere. 2. Traffic. I thought being from Chicago and our notoriously awful traffic, this wouldn’t phase me (Especially w/ my daily… You left out the biggest Con about D.C.: that the taxis don’t freaking take...
STD Test? There’s an App for That British health officials are hard at work on a new app that will allow users to pee into their cell phones and find out within minutes if they have an STD. Seriously, we could not make this stuff up if we tried. According to The Guardian, £4 million have been invested in the UK Clinical Research Collaboration, which is creating a smartphone app that will...
So I have to rent this DVD on Federal Court from the Travis County Women Lawyer Association in order to get admitted to practice in Federal Court. Didn’t seem like a big deal until I called to ask about it and they told me the rental fee is $195!
If my receptionist/secretary/assistant would actually answer my phone, that would be fucking fantastic. This is the kind of shit that happens when your receptionist makes more money than you.
Y’all should go to: http://austin.eater.com/tags/eater-awards-2010 and vote for my boss’s son (Shawn Cirkiel) for Austin’s Best Chef.
My college roommate: i was going to make an internet porn joke, but you have a girlfriend now
Me: yeah, sorry
My college roommate: no it's cool, i'm happy for you, it's better that i can't make that joke
kriskratz replied to your post: I think my favorite part of bar exam results day… Where do you find this list! I’d love to do my own personal stalking…. Every state publishes there own list so it depends on which want you want. Google “[state] bar pass list” and you should be able find whichever one you want to see.
For 12 months, I was the only Christopher [Last Name] licensed to practice law in Texas. Sadly, some dipshit named Christopher [Last Name] passed the Texas bar exam today.
I think my favorite part of bar exam results day is looking at the list, thinking that someone you know failed, and then realizing that they’ve just gone by their middle name the entire time you’ve known them.
brklyn: I hate jersey sheets THANK YOU! For the longest time, everyone I know has just raved about these damn sheets, but I think they’re horrible. I just always end up tangled up in them.
Yesterday, someone (I can’t recall who) posted about their iPhone alarm going off at the wrong time. At the time, I thought “well that would suck”. Then this morning, my alarm that was set for 5:35am went off instead at 4:35am and then didn’t go off at 5:35am. My 5:45am backup alarm went off as planned though, so there’s that.
The thing that calms me down.
jenmcnasty: So when I get scared if I hear a noise when I’m home alone, I always remind myself there are only something like 15 murders a year in Austin. 15 in 365 days. So if one of them ends up being me, I’m a pretty unlucky person. Of course the odds are in my favor and I hold on to that. I have no idea what I’ll do if I ever move to LA or NYC. And most of those murders are victims who...
Apparently Dell employees get a 10% discount at the Round Rock Fuddruckers. The cashier asked me if I worked for Dell and I for some reason said yes. Now I’m forced to decide if my morals are worth $1.17.